exile ft. The Sapnap Visit and clingyduo issues.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: physical verbal and psychological abuse. suicidal thoughts and discussion of suicide in general.

HELLO. :D sorry for wait but here it is! the chapter everyone's been waiting so long for! i can't say i'm very satisfied with how it turned out but hopefully you guys like it!

also to answer the Very Frequently asked question: no. i do not have an update schedule. i am so sorry to tell you this but i do not have one.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

“Okay,” Quackity began, standing from his seat., “I can’t take it anymore.” He unzipped his sports jacket, shedding it and letting out a large sigh. His tan arms were brandished in lightened scars from battle, and there was a thin sheen of sweat covering his face.

“I’m fucking boiling.” He hissed, throwing his beanie to the ground. “Don’t you guys think it’s hot in here?”

“I’m pretty comfortable actually.” Sapnap shrugged nonchalantly. Quackity paused to glare at his fiance.

“Anyone else?” He asked.

“I think it’s nice in here.” Technoblade hummed. The duck hybrid’s eye twitched as he sighed deeply.

“Okay, does anyone that doesn’t come from the Nether think it’s hot in here?” Quackity muttered, shooting scathing looks at both hot-blooded hybrids.

“It’s awful in here.” Tubbo affirmed, wiping at the sweat on his brow.

“I’m about to shave all this off.” Puffy whined, ruffling her bushy hair.

Gradually, everyone had started to shed their outer layers in the heat, until even Quackity, who rarely removed his jacket and beanie, was throwing things to the ground in a fit.

“Are you trying to cook us?” Fundy questioned, looking up at the ceiling.

“Mind your own business.” Drista replied back, voice devoid of emotion.

“You could bake brownies in here.” Ranboo mourned quietly, his suit jacket discarded by his feet, earning a snort from Karl, who had ditched his large hoodie.

“Like when you crack an egg on the sidewalk and it cooks.” Sam groaned, “except we’re the stupid eggs.” His mask had been thrown to the side to let his face breathe, crown also discarded along with his large coat.

“Jack, Tommy, how are you alive in those things?” Puffy asked, staring at their outfits with wide eyes. Both teens looked over at one another, noticing the opposing’s thick sweaters. Jack had yet to strip his striped hoodie, looking rather comfortable, while Tommy was burrowed deep into Ranboo’s sweater as if he was cold.

“Jesus, boys,” Phil blanched, having shed his large cloak, “take those off before you drop!” He chided. Beside him Technoblade was sitting comfortably, though the fox hybrid on his left was near throwing a fit at the heat.

“I’m quite good actually,” Jack shot him down. He tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his gut of the fact that he and Tommy were in the same boat. He really didn’t want to think about it. Every reminder that he and the boy had something in common felt like a knife to the gut. He didn’t want to be anything like him.

“Same here,” Tommy nodded enthusiastically, “I’m not a whiny baby like you lot.” He jeered.

“It’s like a bajillion degrees in here,” George pointed out, “how on earth are you two just fine?”

“Perhaps I’m just built better.” Tommy mused, “it would make sense.”

As many people groaned at the comment, the blond took a moment to purse his lips. He knew exactly why the room was hot, and though it was slightly endearing, it was also rather annoying.

Look, he appreciated Drista’s efforts, he did. He understood that she was completely oblivious to stupid little human emotions and shit, but by god she didn’t have to turn the room into a fucking sauna. He wasn’t sure how to communicate the fact that even if he was launched into a volcano, the chill of death would never leave, without drawing the attention of the other occupants. Thankfully, one Jack Manifold helped divert some of that attention, as he was also in the same predicament it seemed.

Tommy wasn’t quite sure how to feel about what he’d recently discovered. The idea of someone else going through what he did… it didn’t make sense. He wasn’t by any means trying to say that someone else couldn’t come back, but he didn’t understand how. From what Jack had said he hadn’t used the book, which made the whole ordeal all the more confusing.

Not to mention, Tommy had no clue where Jack’s lives had gone and when he’d lost them. Normally word of a life being lost travelled fast, but save for Jack’s first in the Pogtopia vs. Manberg war, he had no idea where the two other lives could have gone or when they would have gone. Especially without anyone knowing.

It wasn’t that Tommy didn’t want to believe Jack, it was that he was honestly a bit scared of doing so. His resurrection had been so intimate and violating, the whole process splitting him apart piece by piece over and over again. Death itself had been a horror of its own, and he didn’t think he’d ever forget how it felt.

Which was why it was so difficult for him to believe that someone else, especially someone who had made numerous attempts on his life, would suddenly bring up also being a ressurectee the moment Tommy himself became one.

He cared about Jack, he did. He considered the older man to have been one of his best friends, and though things had shifted and he’d lost track of time, that didn’t mean he had lost all feeling for him.

The issue was that if Tommy were to actually find someone who had gone through the same thing, to find someone who had felt what he had, he’d be inclined to draw nearer to them. He would feel connected to them in a way the rest of the server could never relate to.

And that was what scared him about Jack claiming to have felt death out of the blue. His former close friend who had devolved into an angry bitter man and tried to kill him, was the person Tommy would be putting that trust in and feeling that connection with.

Forgive him if he was a little weary. Forgive him if he wasn’t as patient as he could have been with the man who’d angrily began screaming at him the second he’d set foot in his hotel after quite literally going through Hell and back.

He didn’t want to discredit Manifold, and he didn’t want to be more selfish than he already had been, but he didn’t have time for whatever elaborate scheme the man was planning, nor did he have the energy.

Seeing Jack sitting there, however, still wrapped comfortably in his large blue and black sweater, left a sour taste in Tommy’s mouth.

They were one in the same; the only ones who understood each other.

He didn’t like it. He pressed his mouth into a thin line, looking away. If Jack had truly died and come back then why had he been so angry when Tommy had done the same? If they were in the same boat why was the older man trying to sink them both in an attempt to flood Tommy’s side of it?

He didn’t understand but the whole thing felt wrong.

He’d never understood why Jack was so upset with him, but he’d learned to move on quickly. At a certain point when it’s more normal to be hated by others than loved by them, you learn to get over it.

Maybe people just didn’t like him because he was deserving of it.

Whatever, resurrected buddies or not, Jack had made it quite clear that he was no fan of Tommy’s, and the blond wouldn’t waste time trying to understand it. He had to cut his losses and focus on what few people he had left. His money was on Puffy and whatever the hell Quackity and his gaggle of morons had going on. They seemed to like him at least.

Of course there was Phil. His father who had been a quiet mess, ruined by what he’d seen. Tommy wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt but he just wasn’t sure yet. He knew Puffy would tell him to be patient, to keep the man at arm’s length after everything he’d put him through, but Tommy was so desperate for any friends or family he’d take what he could get.

There was no doubt Ranboo, but it was… complicated. Because to discuss Ranboo you had to discuss his other half, and Tommy did not have said half on his side. Tubbo had made it quite clear that they weren’t friends. Which meant that he and Ranboo couldn’t be friends.

But that was okay. Because he still had… well he still had a couple people. Hopefully they’d patronize him enough for him to not die of loneliness or worse, go crawling back to his only other friend.

Whatever. Niki and Jack were off the list. Sam, that vile warden, was off the list. Technoblade had made it evident he didn’t want to be anywhere near the list. And Fundy… well who really knew what the fuck was going on with Fundy.

It was fine, though. As long as he had maybe one or two people, he’d be okay. He could do it. Maybe if nothing worked out he could go and pretend to be possessed by that god awful egg. It didn’t look particularly enjoyable per say but at least there was a sense of community there.

Yeah… he could do that. If after all these memories no one wanted to stick around, which seemed very likely, he could always fallback on that stupid cult.

And if that didn’t work out either… well…

As long as he wasn’t alone… right?

Tommy was abruptly drawn away from his thoughts as the screen started back up again, garnering everyone’s attention and bringing all conversations to a close.

Tommy was curled tightly on his side on the bed inside his little tent. There was a thin blanket draped over his form as he shook and shivered in his sleep, brows drawn into an uncomfortable grimace. The wind nearly blew the structure down each time it came over, causing the boy to whine quietly as he slept.

The sun was peeking over the horizon, a thin layer of frost coating everything on the beach.

Puffy’s heart broke at the sight of the little boy so clearly freezing in his sleep. The tent really didn’t do anything to protect from the cold.

“I thought a beach would be warmer…” Quackity whispered.

“You’d think hm?” Tommy replied, eyeing them all up. Maybe they wouldn’t have had to guess if they’d actually bothered to stick around and feel the cold firsthand.

“Tommy!” Dream cried excitedly, silhouette suddenly showing through the thin fabric of the tent, “Tommy wake up!”

Tommy gasped, eyes shooting open as he rocketed into a sitting position. He shied from the light, covering his face with his forearms and wincing.

Tubbo’s grip on the armrest tightened, glaring up at the screen. Beside him Ranboo steadied himself, trying to keep calm at the sight of just how scared Tommy was.

“Rise and shine!” Dream declared loudly, mock-knocking on the wooden posts. He stepped in, having to duck to fit inside. He stood crouched, emotionless mask looming over the teen in bed. The latter shook, shying away and making him frown, tilting his head as though he was disappointed. “Oh come on Tommy,” he rolled his eyes, “don’t be like that.”

Phil’s lips pursed, wings fluttering with anger. Dream phrased it as if Tommy was being dramatic, as if Tommy didn’t have every right to be scared for his life. He clenched his fists, focusing on the fact that Tommy was in the room and that he was safe.

“D-Dream…?” Tommy muttered, lowering his arms. “What time is it?”

“I know I know,” Dream laughed, throwing his hands in the air, “it’s early, huh?” He stepped back, holding open the flap of the tent and gesturing for Tommy to come with. “But I come bearing good news!”

“This has all been some god-awful nightmare?” Fundy snarked, staring bitterly. Niki huffed out a quiet laugh.

Curiously, Tommy swallowed back his fear, moving out and wincing as the sun hit his face head-on. His eyes had grown slightly duller, cheeks more sunken in.

Techno frowned, trying to avoid the sinking feeling in his stomach. The sight was all too familiar.

Dream was standing silently beside a hole in the ground, mask hiding his face as always. “Well?” He grinned, gesturing down at the pit. “You know the drill.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill him.” Quackity seethed, eyes practically red with rage. Sapnap and George were shifting uncomfortably.

Tommy frowned, shoulders hunching. “Please don’t…” He whispered, hugging himself.

The air shifted, and Dream tilted his head down, a shadow covering part of his mask. Tommy stepped back, hands coming up on instinct before he forced them back down.

Sam tried to hold back the visceral reaction seeing the boy do that gave him. He tensed, clawed hands terse.

“Tommy,” Dream sighed, slumping, “why do you always fight me on this?” There was a slight wilt in his tone, as though he was sad, “you know this is how it goes, and you know I don’t want to do it either.”

Tommy stared at the screen with wide glassy eyes. His chest was tight, as though he was being drawn to the display on screen. His leg bounced restlessly.

Tommy looked down at the hole in the ground, feeling something swirling around in his stomach. He steeled himself over, glaring up at the masked man.

“Dream I told you.” He muttered cooly, “I. Don’t. Want. To. Do. This.”

Idiot. He thought quietly to himself.

The others, however, seemed to bloom slightly at the defiance.

There was a tense silence as the two stared each other down, Tommy holding his ground with clenched fists and a spark in his eye. It seemed to stretch on for hours as the sun rose.

“Fine.” Dream sighed, taking a step back. Tommy perked up, eyeing him wearily.

Without so much of a warning the blond was dragged to the ground, a large hand gripping fistfuls of his hair. He let out a cry, falling to his knees as they dug into the ground painfully. Dream knelt down, bringing his face close.

Tommy had to whip his head to the side, clenching his eyes shut and digging his nails into his skin. Don’t be a pussy. It already happened. You’ve had worse. They’ve seen Dream and Wilbur do this before. It’s not any more embarrassing than the last time.

Niki went pale at the extreme act of violence, gripping Jack’s terrifyingly cold and clammy hand. She bit her tongue, trying to keep her reaction to a minimum but feeling tears prick at her eyes all the same.

Phil let out a pained groan, quietly pushing back tears. It was one thing to see his son be hurt like that knowing he’d been on a completely different server at the time, but knowing he’d been at his home on the same server as Tommy while it all went down… he could barely stomach it. Had he really let his house arrest keep him from keeping his youngest safe? Had he really just assumed Tommy would reach out if he needed help?

“You think that’s how this works?” He growled, “you think you just get to say no?” He laughed quietly to himself, “this is your punishment, Tommy! This is happening for a reason!”

Tubbo’s body seized at the words. He tried to control his breathing, unable to even form a real reaction, unable to even process what was really going on.

Tommy whimpered, holding back tears as he grit his teeth. Dream gripped his hair tighter, raising Tommy’s head and slamming it down into the dirt. The teen let out a pained cry, trying to shield his eyes from debris on the ground.

Karl reared back, shutting his eyes tight and swallowing back bile. His eyes momentarily crossed over to Tommy, wondering how on earth the boy was keeping his cool. He saw the blonde’s eyes clenched shut and chest heaving and felt a small part of him break.

Puffy’s hands itched at the sight on screen. She was a woman who used words but in that moment there wasn’t a single word that could’ve accurately described the combined shame, agony and rage she felt.

“And then you go ahead and make me the bad guy!” Dream cried out incredulously, “I don’t want to do this Tommy! It feels like I’m the one being punished!”

Fundy bared his teeth at the screen, feeling an ugly rage bubbling inside of him. Tommy was just a kid. How could Dream do that?

“I’m sorry!” Tommy yelped, “I’m sorry Dream!”

“You don’t get it!” Dream snarled, “If you were sorry you wouldn’t fight me on it!”

“No I mean it!” Tommy sobbed, “I’m sorry I’m sorry!”

George had to look away, unable to stomach what he was seeing.

Tommy bit down on his tongue in a desperate attempt to stay in the moment, drawing a surplus of blood.

The masked man sighed, letting go of his hair abruptly. He stood, dusting himself off.

“Whatever,” he muttered, “just put your things in the hole I don’t care. You always make things more difficult than they have to be…”

Jack stared at the screen, the tremors in his hands giving away his apathetic act.

Wordlessly, Tommy pushed himself up into a sitting position, sniffling quietly to himself. He wiped at his nose with his forearm, staring down at the ground.

“I don’t have all day, Tommy.”

“S-sorry…” Tommy mumbled, moving to stand on shaky legs. He approached the hole cautiously, staring at it with weary eyes as he threw everything he had inside. Dream watched him carefully, and when the time came, he let the lit match fall.

Tommy scrambled back from the explosions, shielding his face with his hands and feeling the heat on his skin. He tried to shake the ringing from his ears, knowing it well.

Tommy flinched at the noise, trying to keep his reaction minimal. Ranboo looked over, tears pricking at his eyes. It took every last bit of his self control not to reach out and console the boy, but he knew that wouldn’t help, if anything it would only make things worse.

“There we go,” Dream smiled, “that wasn’t so hard, hm?”

Shut up. Phil thought, chewing his nails raw, Shut up and get away from him.

Tommy nodded quietly, still staring at the hole with tired eyes.

“Anyways you might wanna start getting ready,” the masked man instructed offhandedly, “Sap’s gonna be here in a few hours.”

Many eyes fell to the man just mentioned on screen, and he paled dramatically. Memories of his visit came flooding back and suddenly he felt violently ill, having to wrench his hand from Karl’s grip as his skin began to heat up.

Instantly, Tommy’s face lit up, and it was as if the past fifteen minutes had never happened. He smiled wide, eyes shining as he stood.

“Sapnap’s coming?” Tommy grinned, “To visit me?”

Sapnap nearly broke down into tears right there. The excitement in Tommy’s tone was like a knife to his heart. How had he not realized anything was wrong? How had he laughed?

“That’s right,” Dream chuckled, losing some of the tension in his shoulders, “that was my big news! I pulled a couple strings, moved things around, and got him to agree to come and see you.”

That wasn’t true. That wasn’t fucking true. Sapnap had asked of his own fucking volition to visit Tommy. Sure, some of it had been just general curiosity about exile, but Dream had no right phrasing it like he’d had to beg.

The younger was practically bouncing on his feet, a certain joy in his stance that hadn’t been there in quite some time. In his mind he was going over things he could discuss with Sapnap, things he could show the man. He wanted to figure out how to make the man want to come back.

“I know how rough things have been, Tommy,” Dream began sympathetically, “and I wanted to make sure you still had someone other than me to talk to, y’know?”

Liar. Ranboo glared silently at the screen. If Dream actually wanted Tommy to feel less alone he wouldn’t have brought someone he could easily convince everything was fine. If Dream actually wanted Tommy to be happy in anyway he wouldn’t have been there in the first place.

“Thank you Dream,” Tommy whispered, misty eyed, “thank you.”

Sapnap frowned sadly, taking a deep breath.

“Now don’t get sappy on me!” Dream laughed, “go on! Get ready!”

Tommy beamed as the screen went dark.

“Tommy…” Puffy began quietly, a gentleness to her tone she’d been working on.

“Not a fucking word.” Tommy growled out.

“But Tommy we need to talk about this-”

“No we don’t!” He hissed, “I’m done with it! It’s behind me! I’m not ever gonna fucking talk about it again!”

Puffy frowned, leaning over to get a better look at him; to get a better look at the stiffness in his shoulders and the tremors in his hands. “You can’t just be done with it, Tommy. You-”

“Well I am!” Tommy cried out, throwing his arms up, “so piss off!”

Phil stared sadly, unsure of what to say. Did he even have the right to say anything? He hadn’t been there before or after, what gave him the right to talk as though he had? Regardless of the fact that Tommy was his boy he hadn’t been there.

Techno looked over, frowning. “You were literally on house arrest, Phil.” He said gruffly, “this isn’t your fault. You couldn’t have been there.”

Phil gazed over, pursing his lips.

“But you could have.”

Technoblade blinked in surprise at the response, wondering if he’d heard wrong. “What?”

“You could have been there, Tech.” Phil whispered hollowly, staring at the ground. Tommy watched with wide eyes, not expecting those words from his father, well, ever.

“He didn’t want to see me,” the elder sibling tried, “I didn’t know-”

“He’s your brother!” Phil hissed, a venom in his tone that Technoblade had never heard directed at himself. He blanched, lips parting just barely in shock as his pointed ears flattened. For a moment, he was taken aback, but he steeled himself over almost instantly.

“Is he?” He countered, frowning deeply, a tired look in his eye. The intrigue and ounce of hope drained from Tommy’s face at the words, and he stared with wide eyes. Phil swallowed thickly, trying to keep his emotions under wraps.

“...What?”

“Is he really my brother?” Techno began, “Wilbur’s my brother because we were twins. You’re my dad because you raised me. I don’t know Tommy, I barely ever did.”

Tommy’s brows drew together as if the words physically pained him. Two seats over, Tubbo was about two seconds from turning tail and jumping the piglin hybrid, brimming with barely contained rage.

“Tech-”

“He used me for weapons and strength, he betrayed me and left me for people who’d already turned their backs on him! What family would do that?”

Phil stared at his eldest, and suddenly he didn’t even recognize him. Was that a son or the people who’d come before him? Was that his boy or the accumulation of hundreds of jaded bitter conceited souls? He didn’t know anymore.

“You left him first.” Puffy spoke up quietly, drawing most of the room’s attention to her. Techno stared her up and down from across the room.

“I didn’t have a choice.” He countered, “I did that for Tommy.”

“...did you ever consider that I had no choice either?” Tommy muttered quietly, voice barely raising above a whisper. All eyes fell on him and he frowned.

“What?” Technoblade pressed, face creased with confusion.

“It’s nothing.” Tommy rolled his eyes, “If it’s important or deeply upsetting it’ll be in this god awful slideshow, we should leave it at that, right?” He glared at the piglin hybrid, “otherwise we might end up saying things we regret.”

Techno pursed his lips, watching as Tommy wordlessly turned back to the screen. He could feel Phil’s eyes on him, but when he turned his head his father was staring ahead. He frowned.

The screen started back up again.

A group of four paraded through the Nether, all somewhat bunched together. They traversed small rickety paths balanced over the pits and pools of lava, treating it as if it were nothing.

Tommy took a shuddery breath, struggling to exhale. He’d always hated how hard it was to breathe in the Nether. The mucky humid feeling of a much too hot day was amplified by thousands, and the thick air invaded your lungs like a disease, making each breath a conscious effort.

“Why do you look so damn uncomfortable?” Quackity asked, “like your socks are wet or something.”

“I hate the Nether.” Tommy muttered, “It fuckin sucks.”

“Rude…” Sapnap and Techno said as one.

Behind him, Sapnap, Dream and Ghostbur were chatting happily. About what, he had no clue, but he didn’t really care. His eye was on the little platform ahead. He slowed his pace slightly, allowing the others to catch up to him somewhat.

“What would you do if I went through the portal?” He asked, staring up at Dream.

“I would kill you.” The man replied without hesitation, tone light and jovial. Beside him Sapnap smiled awkwardly, unsure how to react to the change in subject. Tommy didn’t bat an eye at the threat, still nodding his head.

A couple glances were sent Sapnap’s way and he grimaced, rubbing his hands together anxiously.

Ranboo glared at the screen, clawed hands curling in on themselves.

“And if I snuck through while you were away?”

“I would find out and I would kill you.”

“Dream that’s a little…” Sapnap trailed off, unable to finish his sentence but trying to communicate how uncomfortable he was.

Sapnap hadn’t even remembered saying that, so it came as a small relief that his past self had some common sense.

“Don’t worry Sap,” Dream rolled his eyes, kicking a tiny magma cube into the lava, grinning as Tommy let out a tiny sad gasp as he watched it fly down, “this how we avoid that happening. I’m just teaching Tommy the rules. And when we follow the rules we…?” He trailed off, voice going a bit higher as though he was expecting something. Tommy rolled his eyes.

“...Avoid consequences.” Tommy finished the sentence, muttering quietly to himself as he crossed his arms bitterly. Sapnap raised a brow, speeding his walk so he was closer to the blond.

“It’s like The Manipulation Classroom or something. Jesus Christ.” Fundy commented, hand on his chin as he leant forward, staring intrigued. Tommy laughed, despite all the glares that the fox got trying to tell him it was an insensitive joke.

“Dude he’s like, got you completely brainwashed,” he mumbled, “we need to get you to lay loose; get away from Mr. Rulebook over there, y’know?” He grinned, clapping Tommy on the shoulder.

And yet no one ever did get me away from him, Tommy thought silently. He’d had to do that part himself.

They crossed over another precarious ledge, Ghostbur doing happy flips in the air as he talked Dream’s ear off about the baby ducks he’d watched cross the prime path earlier that day.

Eventually, they reached the tiny hub, and Tommy’s eyes lit up at the portal. He glanced back at Dream, who was standing a few feet behind, as if he was calculating if he could make it without being caught.

If he listened hard enough he could hear the sound of the other side.

“Hey Tommy!” Sapnap cried excitedly, “Look! Look!”

Sapnap went white as a sheet, eyes widening. He remembered that well, but with context on how Tommy had been living, it was no longer the funny joke he’d thought it was.

Tommy looked over, watching as the blaze hybrid jumped into the portal with a smile on his face.

“Are you jealous?” He teased, right before fading away in the purple swirls. Ghostbur followed suit, and Tommy’s hand itched at his side, tears welling up in his eyes as Dream began to laugh behind him.

“Tommy…” Sapnap began, trying to hold back tears, “Tommy I’m so sorry I- I didn’t know. I-”

“I know Sapnap, jeez.” Tommy rolled his eyes, “you’re too much of a pussy to do something like that on purpose. Real dickhead move though.” He huffed out a laugh.

No one else laughed, however.

“Not. Cool.” Was all Ranboo said, but the way his leg bounced impatiently made it evident he had much more to say and was holding back. Sapnap shrank inwards on himself, frowning deeply with shame.

“You really shouldn’t have done that…” George frowned.

“That was really harsh,” Puffy nodded along, “how did you not see-”

“Lay off him will you?” Tommy’s brow furrowed, “the fuck’s harassing him gonna do?” He scoffed, “It’s not like there weren’t others who visited me when things were even worse and didn’t care.”

Sapnap stared with wide eyes, as did Niki.

“But Tommy he shouldn’t have-”

“He didn’t mean to, yeah?” Tommy tilted his head, “he didn’t know and he trusted Dream. There’s no one to actually be mad at other than Dream, right?”

Puffy blinked, taken aback at the statement. There she’d been thinking Tommy would be jumping at the chance to berate Sapnap, vindictive glory and all, but instead he was berating them.

They were all surprised by his words, actually.

“Tommy I…” Sapnap trailed off, staring at the boy.

“Shove it.” Tommy hissed, “Just cause I’m not bloody pissed with you doesn’t mean we’re ‘friends’ Sapnap.” He mocked, saying the elder’s name in that weird mimicking tone he always used when they were joking around. The truth was that he was tired. He was tired of being angry and blaming everyone for every little thing. Somewhere between life and death and life again he’d realized he just… didn’t care as much as he’d used to. Everything felt duller, and not as worth it.

Sapnap smiled softly.

They were fucking mocking him.

It was humiliating.

As Dream jumped in as well, assuring Tommy he’d be right back, the blond felt a piece of him shatter.

What was the point?

He sighed, slouching. He could hear their muffled laughter and cries from the other side, no doubt having the time of their lives. He moved over to the side of the ledge, staring down at the lava.

The smile immediately slipped from his face as he straightened, eyes wide. He could feel the unanimous intake of breath as everyone leaned forwards on the edge of their seat, too shocked for words but hoping they were merely being tricked by the screen.

No no no no no no…. If that had been happening he would have known. He was just metres away he would have noticed.

Phil’s heart stopped. He choked on air, not believing his eyes. Beside him Techno let out a quiet but stressed exhale.

Tommy didn’t look the least bit perturbed, only staring with a dead look in his eye.

Why was he even trying? Tubbo didn’t care about him. Quackity and Fundy didn’t care about him. Techno and Phil didn’t care about him. What was he even doing? Who was he trying to prove a point to by forcing himself through hell?

His brows creased together, as though he were in pain, as he stared down, mesmerized by the magma. His lungs filled up with that thick molten air, and he smiled sadly. Maybe it was his best option.

Tubbo froze as he watched. Memories of the tower he’d found flooded his mind. Memories of thinking Tommy was dead, of thinking Tommy had jumped.

Once finding out that Tommy had actually escaped exile and was very much alive, he had pushed it to the side. He’d sort of just decided that it had been a decoy of sorts without ever really asking Tommy if that was true.

It wasn’t, apparently.

Tommy had wanted to jump many times before that, it seemed, and Tubbo was finding it difficult to breathe.

He couldn’t breathe.

Before he could contemplate it any further, however, a hand gripped his shoulder tightly. He looked up to the side and saw Dream’s emotionless mask facing him. Sapnap and Ghostbur were still yelling in the overworld, laughs so quiet he could barely hear them.

“It’s not your time to die yet, Tommy.” Dream told him, voice firm. Tommy sighed, running a hand through his hair.

Quackity, who was close to losing his stomach, made a face at the words. The fuck was that supposed to mean? The bastard was acting like- and Oh. Quackity suddenly felt so much sicker, eyes widening at the realization. Oh.

“It’s never my time to die…” He whispered quietly.

The screen went black.

Ranboo closed his eyes, finally giving in and letting his tears fall. They burned as they did, and seeing Tommy turn to him with concern in his eyes as he hissed in pain only made them fall harder.

Tommy looked so small in the seat next to him, and he could barely contain sobs. He wanted to hold the boy tight and never let go but he couldn’t even move, rooted to the spot in shock and horror.

Sapnap dissolved into sobs, burying his face in his hands. The silent hiss of his tears evaporating as they made contact with his burning skin rang throughout the room. He was accustomed to sadness and he was accustomed to rage, but never had they fit so well together in an attempt to make him ache.

His heart twisted as he thought about the fact that he’d provoked Tommy. He could barely breathe between sobs, gasping for breath. Tommy had been standing there ready to jump. Karl was fretting over him in a panic, unable to touch his scorching skin.

Tommy looked thoroughly disturbed, though not by the screen. He was staring at Sapnap with wide eyes, as if he was confused. He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the sound of loud cries.

Though they didn’t belong to the blaze hybrid.

Tubbo’s shoulders shook violently as he sobbed, gripping at his hair with angry hands. His face was contorted into an ugly expression, twisted and in pain. Ranboo was hunched over, trying to tend to the goat hybrid while also wincing at his own pain. Tommy stared, unsure of what exactly was going on. He let it continue for a moment before speaking up.

“What the hell are you crying about?” He blurted out. Instantly, he regretted how crude it had sounded. Everyone turned to stare at him, shocked, as if he’d said something appalling. Tubbo looked up at him, brows furrowed and making a face, as though he couldn’t believe what he’d just heard.

“I’m crying over you!” He blubbered, tears running down his face in steady streams, “you idiot!”

Tommy blinked, taken aback. His mouth suddenly felt very dry. “...What?”

“I’m sorry!” Tubbo managed through his tears, gasping for air and whining loudly, “I’m so so sorry Tommy I didn’t mean it I didn’t mean any of it I-” He cut himself off, sobbing loudly into his hands.

The younger teen stared in shock, mouth agape. Tubbo never cried. For the life of him he couldn’t understand why something as miniscule as a memory of him staring at the lava had gotten his best friend so worked up.

“Tubbo I-”

“You didn’t deserve it,” Tubbo shook his head, sniffling and crying, “you didn’t deserve it at all, Tommy.”

Tommy froze, rooted in his spot, not replying.

“Of course you’re my friend!” The elder teen cried, “you’re my best friend! And I didn’t mean any of it. I'm so sorry Tommy I just…” He paused, meeting eyes with the blonde, “I can’t ever lose you again…” He whispered, wiping at his nose. “I- I just got so mad when you said all that and I didn’t want to be the first to apologize, but then I had to watch him do all those things to you and I-” he gasped for air, eyes widening, “Tommy I can’t lose you again I can’t let any of this ever happen to you again. Please don’t ever leave again…”

Silence engulfed the room, only being broken by the sound of the others crying. Tubbo was staring at Tommy, still crying quietly, bottom lip trembling.

Tommy began to laugh.

MY TWITTER IS @47BATS COME TALK TO ME!!

anyways its five am i am sooooo tired idk if my brain is even working right rn... hope u guys enjoyed it though! the next chapter will start off exactly where this scene stopped :)

and before anyone says it, no, the laugh at the end is not anything sinister i promise. he’s just horribly horribly traumatized and unfamiliar with his own emotions